Betty White v. Chuck Norris

Everyone knows that Betty White is a fantastic woman and a wonderful actress.  She is also a great environmentalist.   Last year, she made a calendar (below) the proceeds of which went to the Morris Animal Foundation.

Betty always wanted to be a forest ranger when she was a girl, but couldn’t because they didn’t allow women rangers then.  Now, the U.S. Forest Service has named her an honorary U.S. Forest Ranger.

White is saving the saiga antelope in Kazakhstan.

White has written a book about animals at the zoo.

What has done a pile of amazing things – so, of course, my question is how does she stand up to Chuck Norris?  (I invite you to play along here)

When Norris does a push-up, he pushes down the earth.  When White does a push-up, the earth rises to meet her.

Norris got to the end of the bottomless pit, and White was waiting for him there.

Multiple people have died because Chuck Norris gave them the finger.  Betty White is far to refined to have to use a rude gesture to get her way.

Norris isn’t allowed on airplanes because his fists are deadly weapons.  White  isn’t allowed on airplanes because her brain is a deadly weapon.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.  And that’s why they are sending Betty White there next.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.  Then the Boogey man calls Betty White and she makes sure everything is ok.

Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.  Germany believes in White.

The chief export is Norris is pain.  The chief export of White is muffins.

When she heard Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty,  Betty White – who loves all creatures –  dressed Norris up as a giant peanut as punishment.  And let the adult elephants have at him.

 
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